Dip your damn lights!

By Gentleman Farmer at 3:24 pm on October 31, 2007 | 1 Comment

OK, this has been driving me crazy since moving here! If there are any PEI drivers reading this, please be advised that you are supposed to dip your high beams BEFORE you crest a hill or come around a corner when there is oncoming traffic. This is so that you do not blind the driver of the car/truck approaching you (duh!) and they do not veer into your lane and kill you. It’s for YOUR own good that you should do this…

I’ve taken to closing one eye when I see an oncoming car so that I can have some vision after they pass me.

Filed under: ComeFromAway1 Comment »

Mother Teresa – Saint… or sinner?

By Gentleman Farmer at 10:35 am on October 28, 2007 | 2 Comments

Many people think that Mother Teresa was a virtuous person who should be held in respect. Truth is she wasn’t and you shouldn’t.

Technorati Tags: ,

Filed under: ComeFromAway2 Comments »

Living with O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome – By Scooter Grubb

By Gentleman Farmer at 3:40 pm on October 26, 2007 | No comments

K recently found this on a message board she reads and I thought it worth sharing.


Living with O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome – By Scooter Grubb

Just recently, after years of research, I have finally been able to give a name to what my wife and I have been living with for years. It’s an affliction, for sure, which when undiagnosed and misunderstood can devastate and literally tear a family apart. Very little is known about O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome. But it is my hope this article will generate interest from researchers involved in the equine and psychological sciences. You will, no doubt, begin to identify similar symptoms in your own family and hopefully now be able to cope.
Obsessive Compulsive Equine Attachment Neurosis Syndrome (O.C.E.A.N.S) is usually found in the female and can manifest itself anytime from birth to the golden years. Symptoms may appear any time and may even go dormant in the late teens, but the syndrome frequently re-emerges in later years.

Symptoms vary widely in both number and degree of severity. Allow me to share some examples which are most prominent in our home.

The afflicted individual:

  1. Can smell moldy hay at ten paces, but can’t tell whether milk has gone bad until it turns chunky.
  2. Finds the occasional “Buck and Toot” session hugely entertaining, but severely chastises her husband for similar antics.
  3. Will spend hours cleaning and conditioning her tack, but wants to eat on paper plates so there are no dishes.
  4. Considers equine gaseous excretions a fragrance.
  5. Enjoys mucking out four stalls twice a day, but insists on having a housekeeper mop the kitchen floor once a week.
  6. Will spend an hour combing and trimming an equine mane, but wears a baseball cap so she doesn’t waste time brushing her own hair.
  7. Will dig through manure piles daily looking for worms, but does not fish.
  8. Will not hesitate to administer a rectal exam up to her shoulder, but finds cleaning out the Thanksgiving turkey cavity for dressing quite repulsive.
  9. By memory can mix eight different supplements in the correct proportions, but can’t make macaroni and cheese that isn’t soupy.
  10. Twice a week will spend an hour scrubbing algae from the water tanks, but has a problem cleaning lasagna out of the casserole dish.
  11. Will pick a horse’s nose, and call it cleaning, but becomes verbally violent when her husband picks his.
  12. Can sit through a four-hour session of a ground work clinic, but unable to make it through a half-hour episode of Cops.

The spouse of an afflicted victim:

  1. Must come to terms with the fact there is no cure, and only slightly effective treatments. The syndrome may be genetic or caused by the inhaling of manure particles which, I propose, have an adverse effect on female hormones.
  2. Must adjust the family budget to include equine items – hay, veterinarian services, farrier services, riding boots and clothes, supplements, tack, equine masseuse and acupuncturist – as well as the mandatory) equine spiritual guide, etc. Once you have identified a monthly figure, never look at it again. Doing so will cause tightness in your chest, nausea and occasional diarrhea.
  3. Must realize that your spouse has no control over this affliction. More often than not, she will deny a problem even exists as denial is common.
  4. Must form a support group. You need to know you’re not alone – and there’s no shame in admitting your wife has a problem. My support group, for instance, involves men who truly enjoy Harley Davidsons, four-day weekends and lots of scotch. Most times, she is unaware that I am even gone, until the precise moment she needs help getting a 50-pound bag of grain out of the truck.

Now you can better see how O.C.E.A.N.S. affects countless households in this country and abroad. It knows no racial, ethnic or religious boundaries. It is a syndrome that will be
difficult to treat because those most affected are in denial and therefore, not interested in a cure. So, I am taking it upon myself to be constantly diligent in my research in order to pass along information to make it easier for caretakers to cope on a day to day basis.

Filed under: ComeFromAway Leave A Comment »

Wood

By Gentleman Farmer at 9:28 am on October 20, 2007 | 2 Comments

I put that last of the wood into the basement last night (in the dark). The forcast was calling for rain (and were they ever right this time!) and I was close to being finished. I put in the extra effort and tossed the rest down. The fall rain that we always seem to get in October held off a little longer this year, so I was able to split almost all of it. I use an eight pound maul. It gets tiring very quickly. For the really difficult to split pieces I use an old axe head and a 6 pound sledge hammer. After swining the maul a few times, the two pound lighter hammer feels like a child’s toy in your hands. :-)

Working on the wood pile is the same every year. It’s hard work. My hands take a beating. My arms get super strong. I eat as much junk food and calories as I can manage. I lose weight. The first few cords are great. I am energized. Then there are 9 more cords to do. :-) I push on. I slog on. It becomes an obsession. I push on. I swear that next year I am buying it blocked and split. I work extra hard one last day to get it in. I am filled with joy. Relief. There is a huge sense of accomplishment. I decide to save the money and buy the eight foot lengths again next year. I have no more work to do, but now have tons of energy. Oh wait, there are a million more things to do. . . Time to build a fence, renovate a bedroom & hallway, fix the barn up, paint the house, calk the windows closed for the winter, put up the . . .

No wood pile No wood!

The hug pile of sawdust, twigs bark and yuck still needs to be dealt with, but that can wait for a day when it is not pouring rain. It is a proverbial blustery day out there today. Of course, today is the day that the barn door decides to litterally fall off in my hands. If you look in the background, you can see that the door on the right is leaning on the barn <sigh>.

Technorati Tags:

Filed under: ComeFromAway2 Comments »

Couch hog

By Gentleman Farmer at 8:42 am on | No comments

I took these pictures a few weeks ago, but I have been stacking wood every spare second I have and therefore they never got posted.

It’s getting cool at night these days, which means we crank up the wood stove. The living room becomes a wonderful warm snugly place. Portobello could not be more thrilled. He takes up way more than his fair share of the couch.

Portobello - Pot Belly Pig - Couch Hog Portobello - Pot Belly Pig - Couch Hog Portobello - Pot Belly Pig - Couch Hog

If you ask him to move (verbally or with a slight shove), he cries like a baby and burrows down deeper into the couch. I tend to sit on the right side of the couch, where his head is. He always puts his enormous head in my lap and insists that I sit there with my arms around him. Getting cosy on the couch to watch a movie with K has changed, but we can still play (over the pig) footsie. :-)

Filed under: ComeFromAway Leave A Comment »